Release Day: Feb. 18th
Prologue
Naomi
Fourteen months ago
We were on the beach in Ko Samui, Thailand’s second largest island, and my boyfriend Jacob had booked out an entire section of the island overlooking the cottage we were staying in. So for four days, we had a private island at our disposal and the sun was shining and the sand was like silver dust at our feet.
I was lying on the beach under a purple umbrella, but most of my body was in the sun. In the past two days, I’d already tanned significantly because I spent most of my time on the beach, by myself. Jacob clearly had other things to do. Even on vacation, he was constantly on his phone. That cellphone was as good as stuck to his ear with glue. I’d learned to not complain a long time ago.
I was lying on my back now, with my silky orange sarong barely covering my slender tanned legs. I was wearing a yellow bikini underneath, even though I didn’t really need to wear anything. There was nobody on the beach to see us. A glass of some kind of sugary cocktail was by my side. The ice had all melted in it, I’d stopped sipping it some time ago.
The sun and the alcohol had gone to my head, making me dizzy and my emotions bubble to the surface. Usually it was quite easy for me to ignore the irritation I felt with Jacob in situations like these. But it must have been the alcohol and the harsh sun beating down on me that made me grit my jaw as I glared at him now.
He’d been walking around in circles at some distance from me, wearing his island shorts and a loose linen shirt with the buttons open. His sandy blond hair was ruffled by the breeze and he had his dark sunglasses stuck to the top of his head. His phone of course was at his ear. He was speaking to someone ‘important’, about something ‘important’, he’d informed me about half an hour before when he answered the call.
It was the same excuse every time. Jacob always had something more important to do than spend time with me. We’d been together for close to seven months, making our families very happy because we were seemingly ‘perfect for each other’ on paper. Now, I couldn’t even remember what I was attracted to in the first place. His blue eyes looked cold and cruel, his high cheekbones and sharp features made me shiver in the hot sun.
I hadn’t wanted him to touch me in several weeks. Just the thought of our legs accidentally brushing together while we lay together in bed at night, made me breathe in deeply and try and think of other things. I realized I wasn’t attracted to him anymore.
Was he ever attracted to me? Or was he too, like I was; just trying to please the family?
I heard him loudly declare into the phone that he was ending the call, and finally, he turned to look at me.
“I’ll have to get on a conference call with our contractors in Colorado in like…” he looked at his watch, “half an hour.” He was walking towards me and now sank onto the low comfy beach chair beside me. “Which means you have me all to yourself for exactly twenty-five minutes.” I could sense he was hinting at sex.
I turned to him and raised my sunglasses off my face. I wondered if he could see on my face how much I didn’t love him. What were we doing together? Suddenly, I felt very alone and lost. There was only one thing I knew I wanted.
“Good, because there’s something we need to talk about,” I said. Jacob was already distracted. He was already scrolling through his phone, but he made a mumbling sound.
“You always have something you think we need to talk about. What is it this time, Naomi?” he made his voice drag, like he was bored already.
I breathed in deeply, trying to relax myself. I’d been trying to work myself up to actually say the words to him today. I didn’t want to waste any more time.
“I want kids. To start off with, I want one kid,” I declared, facing him directly, trying not to look away when he glared at me. His phone was suspended in the air in his hand. I could see he was surprised. A smile was beginning to stretch his lips.
“You’re kidding, right?” he asked and I gulped but I shook my head. I’d thought long and hard about this. Jacob wasn’t the ideal candidate, but he would have to do.
“I’m extremely serious. I’ve always wanted to be a mother, I know I’ll make a good one, and I know for a fact that’s what your family wants too. So, what do you think?”
Jacob was taking a few moments. He’d been silent for some time. Then slowly, he started to pull himself off the sand and he dusted himself down. I was waiting for an answer. I could feel my insides tumbling.
Jacob clenched his jaw and then he was grinning again.
“How naive are you really, Naomi? The only reason we’re together is because you’re a good piece of ass, and because my dad wanted to sign a deal with yours. That was a long time ago. We really have no reason to be together anymore. And you’re a fucking idiot if you think I’m going to tie myself to you with a baby.”
Jacob was shaking his head as he spoke, smiling too like this was all a joke to him. I should have known. I tried not to shake.
He ran a hand through his hair and shrugged his shoulders.
I was sitting up straight, trying to keep my head upright and hold on to some of my dignity. I was embarrassed and insulted, but at the same time I didn’t want him to see it.
“You need to leave,” he snapped next. Like we were strangers. Like we didn’t know each other at all. I thought I was going to throw up.